In Film Noir, cigarettes are like an uncredited character that create an ambiance all their own; those stark black and white films with femme fatales, dangerous dames, gritty gangsters, gormless guys and glum gumshoes are often highlighted with delicate streaming tendrils of smoke twisting and swirling from the mouths of the silver screen stars of old Hollywood. The misty and mysterious surroundings obscuring everyone slightly in a sultry haze is another classic signature of the genre. It was stylistically dramatic and encapsulated the hard-boiled and grime nature of the complicated characters.

I bring this up because the film noir course I took in college obviously had an impact on me and there is still to this day something undeniably sexy about the smoking fetish fantasy (also known as capnolagnia). That devil-may-care attitude that exudes out with each puff of smoke, the phallic suggestion that mimics intimacy, and that savory anticipation of getting your hands on cigarettes, vape pens, hookahs, cigars or cigarillos. Kissing the reaper never seemed so tempting.

Deep intakes of breaths, pulling succulent lips together, blowing outward after pulling a drag, but first holding it for a moment, inhaling and embracing the taste and then watching those smoky tangling trails and curlicues of smoke, while hearing those soft sighs of satisfaction, are all close to a kind of ecstasy. A fulfillment of an oral fixation, it is flirting with danger but feels so good to suck down and exhale back out all those gossamer rings of smoke. What a dexterous tongue can do to twist and twirl those perfectly formed “O’s” is surely capable of all sorts of other oral gymnastics and can signal quite a sexually applicable skill.

Does it make you think of what else might feel good in my mouth? I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to imagine being my cigarette, with my little fingers daintily bringing you to my lips as I drink you in, holding you inside me for just an instant, and then slowly blowing my breath outwards and alighting your senses with billows of smoky, erotic delight. Sometimes that which is bad for you just feels so damn good! Wanna be bad with me?